My Willful Heart...

One of my favorite stories from the scriptures is of the woman who touched the Saviors robes as He walked by. Because she knew that if she could just touch His clothes, something, that she would be healed, she had faith. Luke 8:40-48.

I often wonder if I have that kind of faith? My husband tells me I do, but I doubt it a lot of the time...I would love just a tiny fraction of that kind of faith. Some days are easier than others to believe, to have faith, to be happy. Other days, I am looking up towards Heaven and saying with my arms raised, really?! Are you kidding me, I don't know how to do this? But then I push through, sometimes just day by day, one step at a time.

That's why I love this song by Hillary Weeks, it helps to remind me that He is in control and He is molding me into the person He sees in me. I am just this willful woman who sometimes gets scared and lets the "natural man" in me take over, and then I really have to work at it.

I am a stubborn woman, always wanting to do things my way, when I want to, on my own timetable. But no matter what things always seem to happen just when I think I have it all worked out, Ha! No matter how sometimes life can come crashing down on me, He is there, always. So, I continue to have that kind of faith that despite whatever comes at me or our family, He is always there. Guiding, comforting, and helping me to see who I really am. 

This is my favorite verse:
 "Centered on the wheel like clay in Your hands

Ready to be shaped and molded by Your Plan

If You'll take this heart willful as it seems

And through your mercy, refine me until I'm complete

Though I'm weak now, You can make me strong"

 

Hillary Weeks – Prove Me

Fearless heart,

Unwavering faith

The kind of courage

And conviction that it takes

To leave your home behind

Or part the Red Sea

I wonder

Did God plant that kind of strength in me

Just a seed now

But may be it will grow

-Chorus-

'Till prison walls

Crumble down around me

And I've escaped unscathed from the lion's den

When I have

Walked so far the handcart starts pushin' me

Until then

Prove me

Centered on the wheel

Like clay in Your hands

Ready to be shaped and molded by Your Plan

If You'll take this heart

willful as it seems

And through your mercy, refine me until I'm complete

Though I'm weak now

You can make me strong

'Till on a wall

Arrows cannot harm me

Until my faith leads me into a grove of trees

When every

Nail's in place before the rains

And floods come down

Until then

Prove me

I will step into the fire

So your love can purify me

And I'll stay until you say I am through

Wash away all the flaws and

Every earthly imperfection

Until my will turns to you

Until I trust

Without hesitation

When humility has chased away the pride

Until the day that through your grace I'm welcomed home

Until then

Prove me