Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled...

On January 28, 1986 the Space Challenger exploded. I remember watching it unfold right in front of our eyes as we watched the ship take off on our telelvsions. It was a spectacular sight watching the launch, but then something went horribly wrong, and we were all devasted. We were in tears, crying for the loss of life, for the family's lost. It was incredibly sad.

Just a few short months later...

April 26, 1986 Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant exploded. Once again, our world was devasted. I remember how scared I was. I couldn't even imagine something like that happening and yet it had. I had three young children and another on the way, we were living in Arizona at the time.

I remember one night as we were listening to the news about Chernobyl, rubbing my pregnant belly and thinking how can I possibly bring another child into this crazy, messed up world where bad things happen?

A lot of incredibly hard and awful things continue to happen in our world. I won't go into all that well because we see it all on the news, on the internet and on social media. But I remember at the time looking at my precious children and anticipating the birth of a new baby, and knowing that no matter what everything was going to be okay. How did I know it, believe it, because I had faith that depiste my very deep fear the Lord was looking out for me, for my family, and that I just needed to trust that.

The world is a scary place, but I also know that as much as I suffer from anxiety I can't live my life in fear. Fear will consume you, steal away precious moments, and ultimately leave you in a heap in your bed with your covers drawn. How do I know that, I've lived it, I've don't that very thing.

So when I say, have a little faith and just step out the door and enjoy your life, I know what I'm talking about.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart betroubled, neither let it be afraid."

John 14:27

Fine, Not Fine...

 This months Visiting Teaching message was perfect for me! 
It is the pure love of Jesus Christ. As we learn of Jesus Christ and strive to become like Him, we will begin to feel His pure love in our lives and be prompted to love and serve others as He would. “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down,” said President Thomas S. Monson. “It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”¹
(Taken from The October 2015 Ensign Visiting Teaching message)



Do I consider myself a good person, a good Christian, a good Latter Day Saint, no, but I keep on trying. Why? Why do I keep on trying? Maybe because in this world where there is a constant stream of chaos, violence, anger, and misery, I need to try in my little part of the world to be good or at least try. Am I perfect at this, no, am I always happy, no, do I allow being grumpy to get the better of me some days? yes. Some days are just lame, or I am feeling off kilter, is this an excuse, not by any means. But I am human, we all are and therefore imperfect.

I am an imperfect person tying to be better each day, not always succeeding, but nonetheless trying.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themsleves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.  Ether 12:27

https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng


BUT, I keep on trying. I am trying and doing my best to be a better person, a better Latter Day Saint, but please while we are all on this journey can we give one another a break. Give love, give compassion, give peace, give understanding.

I see this meme all over facebook, but do we really understand it's meaning? I have liked it, I think I may have even shared it on my Facebook page, just like I know others have as well. We don't know what one person from the next is really going through.
I remember many years ago someone asking me how I was doing, I asked, "Do you really want to know or do you want the short answer? Sadly, she said the short answer, so I told her I was fine, and she walked away. The point is we want to believe we want to know what is going on with someone but rarely do we take the time and effort to REALLY  know them. Sometimes we just make snap judgements about someone because it's easier or because we have stuff going on with our own lives and have enough on our own plates. Sad, yes, but some days truer than most. It just means we are human, still trying to live in this sometimes crazy world of ours.

So when asking someone how they are, make sure you want the real answer or the standard, "fine." Everyone we meet is going through something, and we can either be a help or a bystander.
But if we choose to just be kind along the way, just maybe, maybe, we will leave the world a little better each day.

Molding Me...

Centering my life on the Savior has been an incredible journey, one not always easy, but so worth it. I haven't always been an easy Daughter of God. I haven't always believed that love was for me. I haven't always seen what the Lord sees in me, but that is becoming more clear to me. At times it has been a painful experience, not always of my own making, but nonetheless painful to endure, but I was not alone. I am grateful to know that during those times that the Savior was with me, comforting me, cheering me on, and just plain loving me. And molding me into the woman, the person He sees...

The journey isn't over, if anything, it's just beginning, but at least I'm not alone with Heavenly Father and The Savior on my side, I can do this...

To learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints:

https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng

To listen to this awesome talk go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doJHCWTbI-k

I love General Conference! 

My Willful Heart...

One of my favorite stories from the scriptures is of the woman who touched the Saviors robes as He walked by. Because she knew that if she could just touch His clothes, something, that she would be healed, she had faith. Luke 8:40-48.

I often wonder if I have that kind of faith? My husband tells me I do, but I doubt it a lot of the time...I would love just a tiny fraction of that kind of faith. Some days are easier than others to believe, to have faith, to be happy. Other days, I am looking up towards Heaven and saying with my arms raised, really?! Are you kidding me, I don't know how to do this? But then I push through, sometimes just day by day, one step at a time.

That's why I love this song by Hillary Weeks, it helps to remind me that He is in control and He is molding me into the person He sees in me. I am just this willful woman who sometimes gets scared and lets the "natural man" in me take over, and then I really have to work at it.

I am a stubborn woman, always wanting to do things my way, when I want to, on my own timetable. But no matter what things always seem to happen just when I think I have it all worked out, Ha! No matter how sometimes life can come crashing down on me, He is there, always. So, I continue to have that kind of faith that despite whatever comes at me or our family, He is always there. Guiding, comforting, and helping me to see who I really am. 

This is my favorite verse:
 "Centered on the wheel like clay in Your hands

Ready to be shaped and molded by Your Plan

If You'll take this heart willful as it seems

And through your mercy, refine me until I'm complete

Though I'm weak now, You can make me strong"

 

Hillary Weeks – Prove Me

Fearless heart,

Unwavering faith

The kind of courage

And conviction that it takes

To leave your home behind

Or part the Red Sea

I wonder

Did God plant that kind of strength in me

Just a seed now

But may be it will grow

-Chorus-

'Till prison walls

Crumble down around me

And I've escaped unscathed from the lion's den

When I have

Walked so far the handcart starts pushin' me

Until then

Prove me

Centered on the wheel

Like clay in Your hands

Ready to be shaped and molded by Your Plan

If You'll take this heart

willful as it seems

And through your mercy, refine me until I'm complete

Though I'm weak now

You can make me strong

'Till on a wall

Arrows cannot harm me

Until my faith leads me into a grove of trees

When every

Nail's in place before the rains

And floods come down

Until then

Prove me

I will step into the fire

So your love can purify me

And I'll stay until you say I am through

Wash away all the flaws and

Every earthly imperfection

Until my will turns to you

Until I trust

Without hesitation

When humility has chased away the pride

Until the day that through your grace I'm welcomed home

Until then

Prove me